a blog for everyone and their mothers

being alone vs. feeling lonely

Chloe Gordon

Being alone versus being lonely. A concept that I haven’t learned to deal with quite yet. It’s one of those things that isn’t taught, it’s most definitely learned. 

Today I was alone and very much lonely. Why? Because it’s summer and I want to be doing exciting things with people who bring me joy and laughter. Instead, I was feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t doing those things and that I spent the entire day by myself. I read on my porch, I went for a run (although it was mostly a walk because I’m so out of shape), I meal prepped for the week, I called my parents, etc. 

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But why do we often feel lonely when we are alone? Am I the only one who feels lonely when they’re alone?  I wish I had the answers. I wish that I was ok with alone time. But to be quite honest, I’d rather be surrounded by people. I guess this makes me an extrovert in that I gain energy from being around people. I feel refreshed and energized and full of life when I’m around other people. Even when I’m just around one other person. 

So while I was lonely today, I learned something about myself. I learned that sometimes it’s ok to be alone. Sometimes it’s ok to feel lonely, but it’s not ok to spiral into this zone of uncomfortableness when the only person I have to talk to is myself.   So from here on out, I’m challenging myself to rethink what being alone means. It’s doesn’t automatically make me a lonely person. It can make me feel independent and allow me to get to know who I truly am more easily. It can be thrilling. It can be fun. It can be fulfilling. Simply being alone doesn’t have to be a negative thing.

Here’s to a summer of looking at previously negatively associated things a little bit more positively. 

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