Popcosmo

a blog for everyone and their mothers

idk what anything means

Chloe GordonComment

Life is fucking weird. Mom, if you’re reading this: one, I’m sorry for saying the word “fucking” and two, well, that’s really all. 

foolish

Moving on. Life is fucking weird. And not in the way that we eat plants and call it salad. Or that in America we walk / drive on the right side and in London they do it on the left. Well, now that I’m thinking about it, that’s pretty weird too. But, I’m talking about the kind of weird that is inside our minds. Us humans are weird. I’m weird. And since I know myself best I’m going to talk about myself and maybe if we’re lucky it’ll apply to you too, because apparently, in the blogging world at least, that’s the kind of content people like. 

I’m weird. I just took a shower and realized how weird I am. Why did I realize this in the shower? Because the shower is the place I think the most. I think, mentally, I get my most deep and philosophical in the shower. What did I learn just now?  I’m a huge contradiction. I change a lot, year to year, month to month, day to day, and even hour to hour I feel like I am ever changing. As I was showering I realized how many internal thoughts I have that I never share, but I also talk a lot. That’s a contradiction in itself, isn’t it? If I have a lot of internal thoughts, but also talk a lot, what am I even talking about? Nothing interesting, probably. 

Internal thoughts are weird. I’m not sure if anyone is actually reading this, does anyone care about me enough to actually read this website on the internet? I don’t know and I don’t care, the reason I write on here is because I like to look back through my posts and see what I was thinking. So here’s what I’m thinking right now: 

I’m tired but not tired enough to take a nap because I just drank a lot of coffee because I have work in an hour and then I’m driving down to my boyfriend’s home home which is like an hour away. 

I wish I was a better writer because when I started this blog post I had a lot to say and now as I’m writing I don't think any of this makes sense or flows or anything. Which defeats the whole purpose of the post in general because I was just writing about how I talk a lot and have a lot of thoughts… another contradiction? 

I’m currently laying (lying? idk) on my bed in a robe with soaking wet hair wondering where on Earth I thought this post was going. 

I just re-read this post and it makes absolutely no sense but I love it. 

 

hi

 

 

I’m now ending this blog post.

Just Be

Chloe GordonComment

A few semesters ago I had a guest speaker in one of my huge lecture classes. It seemed like most of the time the guest speakers for this class (an intro level class for my major) all had the same advice. “Do what you love, and you won’t work a day in your life.” Or even, “I just got lucky and that’s how I ended up in this dope kick ass executive position.” But this specific guest speaker told us the cold hard truth: "making it big in the creative world is fucking hard" You have to work hard to make it big, and honestly, who are you trying to make it big for?

I loved his brutal honesty, lack of sugar coating, and true “grin and bear it” attitude. When he said his favorite book was The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand I knew I had to read it. I put it off for like six semesters until now, but I finally started it. And you know what? I wish I had started earlier, not only because it’s really long and who knows when I’ll finish it, but also because it’s really inspirational. I’m only like 20 pages in ( (call me a fake fan, I dare you)  but so far it has a lot of quotable lines. I think the one line that I like the most is when the main character talks about who will stop him from doing his creative thing and asks his professor why he can't create new and innovative things.

So often I think we are motivated to accomplish certain things by certain times based on what certain people think. It’s sometimes very hard to pave your own path, but when you do it’s very rewarding (not that I really know because I have yet do actually do so). 

So anyways, as the real world is starting to creep closer and closer, I decided to promise to myself to pave my own path. To do creative things for myself only. To do things I want to do, for myself only. To just be, without the approval needed from anyone else. 

And with that promise, the other day I went on a little picnic with one of my littles from the sorority and we captured a few pretty pictures along the way.

Summer Goal

Chloe GordonComment

This is the first summer that I’ve been away from my family. The first time that I’ve felt like a “real adult.” Where meals aren’t ready for me after work, where if my friends are busy or working or with other friends then I have to entertain myself. Where my parents aren’t telling me to make my bed, take out the trash, or stop being lazy. 

And you know what? It’s made me miss my childhood. I thought this summer would be the most magical summer of my life. I thought the freedom would be glorifying. That the lack of structure and rules and chores would be literal heaven. But, if we’re being honest here, I miss my mom nagging me about getting all my chores done. I miss my dad making annoying jokes to the waitress about how much he hated his meal even though he basically licked the plate clean. I even miss arguing about who gets the car with my brother. 

summer

Growing up is hard. It’s exciting, and thrilling, and super fun, but it’s also a lot of change. Change is hard, change is weird, but it’s also super necessary. Sure, I have one more year of college left (thank goodness) but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about what my life is going to be like after college. Where will I live? Where will I work? Will I live alone? With roommates? In a city? Will I be happy? It’s a lot to think about. 

Long story short, while this summer is only just starting, I feel like I’ve learned a lot. I’m learning to be happy spending time alone. I’m learning to look at the positive, especially when it’s the hardest. I’m leaning how to entertain myself. I’m learning how to be alone with my thoughts (something I’m not good at doing). I’m learning a lot about myself. So while this summer is the first summer without my family, it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it like I always have in the past. 

So here’s to making this summer amazing, even though I’m a “real adult.” My summer goal is to make the most of every moment, even if that moment is just enjoying sitting on my porch or couch doing nothing at all.