Popcosmo

a blog for everyone and their mothers

being alone vs. feeling lonely

Chloe Gordon

Being alone versus being lonely. A concept that I haven’t learned to deal with quite yet. It’s one of those things that isn’t taught, it’s most definitely learned. 


Today I was alone and very much lonely. Why? Because it’s summer and I want to be doing exciting things with people who bring me joy and laughter. Instead, I was feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t doing those things and that I spent the entire day by myself. I read on my porch, I went for a run (although it was mostly a walk because I’m so out of shape), I meal prepped for the week, I called my parents, etc. 

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But why do we often feel lonely when we are alone? Am I the only one who feels lonely when they’re alone?  I wish I had the answers. I wish that I was ok with alone time. But to be quite honest, I’d rather be surrounded by people. I guess this makes me an extrovert in that I gain energy from being around people. I feel refreshed and energized and full of life when I’m around other people. Even when I’m just around one other person. 

So while I was lonely today, I learned something about myself. I learned that sometimes it’s ok to be alone. Sometimes it’s ok to feel lonely, but it’s not ok to spiral into this zone of uncomfortableness when the only person I have to talk to is myself.   So from here on out, I’m challenging myself to rethink what being alone means. It’s doesn’t automatically make me a lonely person. It can make me feel independent and allow me to get to know who I truly am more easily. It can be thrilling. It can be fun. It can be fulfilling. Simply being alone doesn’t have to be a negative thing.

Here’s to a summer of looking at previously negatively associated things a little bit more positively. 

thanks for reading
xox
chloe

falling

Chloe Gordon

You know what absolutely no one talks about?


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Life.


I mean, I guess it is pretty hard to talk about considering everyone has different experiences and stories. But here’s the deal, no one, and I mean no one, talks about this awkward stage between college and real life.


Every single (new) alumni that I’ve spoken to feels lost. Whether or not they have a job already, whether or not they're on their own financially, whether or not they got all A’s or failed some of their classes. Everyone is lost.


I swear it’s because professors, parents, and mentors, at the end of our careers as students, forgot to tell us what it’s like to start from the beginning. I’ve been meeting with a lot of people who are where I’d like to be professionally one day and I’ve been asking them all how they started. What was their first job out of college? Is it wrong to turn down your first job offer if it’s not the right fit? How do I know that I’m good enough to go into the career path that I’ve been studying for the past four years?


How do we do life?


Sure, these are broad questions, but, speaking for myself, I kind of feel like I’ve been pushed off an extremely large cliff and I’m still falling. Graduation wasn’t a walk across a stage, it was a push off a cliff. I don’t think I’ll stop falling until I find my first job, am financially stable and am just doing it. I might not even recognize when I stop falling, but I’m sure it can’t be too far away. Right? Right?

Right?


In the meantime, I’m spending time with family and diligently searching for a job. I constantly keep reminding myself that I can do this and everything will be ok.


goodbye and good luck

Chloe Gordon

Woah. I have one college class left in my entire career as an undergraduate student. One. 

How did this happen? I remember moving into my dorm room like it was quite literally yesterday. 

I remember calling my mom the next day crying because I was homesick. I remember the first time I ate alone in the dining hall, I remember the first time I dropped my tray in the middle of the dining hall, I remember belly laughs in the dining hall with friends that I had just made. 

College has been a whirlwind. It has been the fastest four years of my life. I don’t want to speak too soon since I’m still decently young, but it’s been the best four years of my life. 

I would love to write a post about all the things I’ve learned while I’ve been in college but I feel like it would turn into more of a novel. If I had to write my top three biggest lessons though they’d be as followed: 

  1. Be kind to everyone. That random kid in your required math class could be the son of the CEO who you want to work for. College has this weird way of bringing the right people to you so be nice to everyone because you never really know who anyone is. 

  2. Enjoy every little moment. People always say that college flies by but you’ll never believe them until it’s the last week and you only have one class left and you don’t know what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. The little random spontaneous moments are the ones that you’re going to remember the most so live it up. 

  3. Do your homework and go to class. It’s easy to forget why you’re actually at school, but in case you forgot, it’s to learn. We’ll never have this amazing opportunity to fill our minds with whatever we want to learn about. 

I feel like every time someone from class says “goodbye and good luck” I could burst into tears. Moving on is hard, but it’s also so extremely exciting.

Thanks for reading.
xox
Chloe