Lately, I’ve been struggling with anxiety of the future. For my entire life, up until this point, I haven’t had to question what the future would be like. I knew that fifth grade came after fourth. I knew that high school would definitely come after middle. I knew that once I got into college that I would be there for the next four years. But as my senior year is coming to an abrupt end, I’m scared.
I’m scared I’m going to graduate without a job. I’m scared that I’ll have to depend on my parents longer than I should have to. I’m scared that I won’t know where to live. Honestly, being scared of so many things is making me scared that I’m losing myself. I’m usually a person that goes with the flow, that doesn’t really think too much about the future, that knows that things will work out. And right now, I’m not that person and I hate it.
I was talking to one of my favorite professors the other day about all these thoughts that I’d been having lately and he said, “Chloe, I know it sucks, but people like you are the ones that are going to end up being ok, because being scared is what drives you to succeed.”
And then I took a deep breath. And now I’m less nervous. Still nervous 1000%, but definitely less. I have no idea where I’ll be five months from today, but I just have to keep reminding myself that that is exactly what life is all about — figuring it out as you go.
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