a blog for everyone and their mothers

17 going on 70: Why I'm a Grandma trapped in a Teen's body


Sometimes I wonder if I’m a grandma trapped in a teenagers body. On a scale from one to rebellious teenager, I’m a negative one. So today I’m going to share teen reasons why I think I’m actually a grandma. Before I start, I just want to let you know that I am being 100% serious with these reasons. This. Is. Not. A. Joke. 17 going on 70

1. An exciting Friday night for me is watching old 80’s movies in bed. (The Breakfast Club, Ferris Buellers Day Off, etc. Yeah, they're my faves.)

2. I sometimes forget my blinker is on when I’m driving. People behind me are probably like “that dumb grandma forgot to turn her blinker off” and then when they pass me (because I’m slow) they realize that I’m just a teenager.

3. Real Simple magazine is my all time favorite magazine. Judge me, but I don’t care because I know how to do things like peel potatoes and wash the counters better than you because of it. So who’s the real winner here?

4. When I was like 8 I got hot pink nail polish on my finger nails at the salon because that’s what all the cool girls did. But after I got home I just felt too rebellious and had to take it off. I now typically stick with light pinks, reds, and occasionally navy blue nail polishes. (Essie, of course)

5. I go to sleep at 9 o’clock. If I don’t then I am too exhausted to function the next morning. My friends used to make fun of me for going to sleep so early, but I know they were just jealous that I finished all my homework faster than them. I mean, duh.

6. When I see those “skater punk boys” in the mall parking lot doing dumb things I always shake my head and say “dumb teenagers.” That means I actually forget that I too am a teenager.

7. I keep all of my plans in a paper planner. I have never used the calendar on my computer or phone because it just confuses me to no end.

8. I use phrases like “gosh darn it,” “goodness gracious,” “okie dokie,” and “tummy” seriously. My family always laughs at me, especially with when I say “my tummy hurts.” (Maybe this is more baby than grandma, but still…)

9. I would be perfectly content spending my entire weekend baking. Homemade cookies? Yep. Homemade cake? I got you.

10. My mom’s clothes are probably “cooler” than mine, but I don’t care because my clothes are classic and I will still be able to wear them when I’m an actual grandma. Again, who's the real winner here?

So there you have it. 10 reasons why I’m actually a grandma - and don't get me started on my grey hair. Do you have grandma-like qualities too? If so, do share so I feel a little bit better about myself. ;)

xox, chloe