a blog for everyone and their mothers

Wicked Stepmother: Fact or Fairytale?


If you are a teen whose parents have separated or divorced, you might have experienced your parents dating other people. You may even have a stepdad or stepmother. And you may have been angry about it, which is common and natural. So, when a Stepmother-to-be asked if she could publish a letter to her soon-to-be stepdaughter, we thought it was a great idea. They are having a difficult time with their relationship and the Stepmother wanted to share her feelings with all teens... just in case her stepdaughter-to-be is reading this article, and also case someone else is going through a similar experience. This Stepmother wanted teens to know how a new Stepmother might be feeling. So, if? your Mom or Dad is in a relationship and? you have a similar situation, or even if yours is completely different, please leave us a comment below and let us know how it's going! And also let us know if there's any information that you would want to know from a Stepmother.

You’re thirteen and you hate that your parents divorced a few years ago, you hate that your Dad is “dating” (ewww, gross!), and since he’s dating ME…well…you might as well add me to the big bowl of things you hate.

Here’s a newsflash: I love you anyway.

You see, I love your father and, by extension, I love you. I’m probably going to marry him. ? And so, there are a few things I would really like for you to understand.

1. I know that I’m not your mother.? I have no intention of trying to “replace” your mother. NO ONE on this earth could replace my mother.? I get it. But, I could be a grown-up friend…it’s your call.

2. I didn’t break up your parents’ marriage. Divorce is hard. It's very hard for everyone. I understand? you’re angry that your parents split, so let’s talk about it. Or let’s find someone for you to talk to. Your parents chose that path, and neither you nor I are to blame.

3. We don’t have to like each other. ? But we do have to RESPECT each other.? Notice that I said WE? It’s a two-way street.? Disrespect only breeds contempt. ? Nobody “wins” when everyone is disrespectful. ? Besides, if we start respecting each other, we may actually get to know one another…and like what we find.

4. I’m going to screw up.? But, I’ll never stop trying to do the right thing where you’re concerned. I will say something stupid, do something un-cool, or just aggravate you by breathing.? But I will never stop TRYING to do the right thing. If you help me, I may even stop doing the silly things a lot faster.

5. I ? listen to you.? If you want to talk to me, I will stop what I’m doing and LISTEN.? Understand that listening is hard when you scream or shout at me, because there is anger behind your words. Even if what you have to say isn’t all that nice, if you come to me to talk, I will listen. So, when you are angry, try to calm down first and then talk so we can work through the issue without the anger. I promise I'll do the same.

Now, can we just go have a pizza, get our nails done, and catch a movie sometime without a ton of drama? It sure would be fun!