a blog for everyone and their mothers

Internal Age

Chloe Gordon

The other day I asked my grandpa what age he thought he was on the inside, and he got a kick out of the question. The thing is though, I didn’t ask as a joke. I genuinely think we all have an age that our soul is. Am I crazy? Probably. But if you think about it, there’s no way you feel your age. I mean I don’t. I don’t feel 23 at all. Some days I feel like I’m 12, some days I feel like I’m 87, and some days I get a little peek at what feeling 23 should feel like.

My grandpa is about to turn 81 but you’d never know it. He’s probably the most tech-savvy, trendy, live on the wild side 80-year old I’ve ever met. I mean he wears HOKAs for crying out loud. He knows how to take a screenshot on his iPhone. I told him what Sake Bombs are and he was so into the idea of doing them with my cousin and me. He’s cool, ok?

I wonder why we all feel different ages than the age we are. I have a theory that it’s based on how we like to live life. Do you want a fast, action-packed, lifestyle? Or do you want the slow and steady love every moment, including the bad one's kind of life?

I’ve always been into calligraphy. I’d rather talk about the books I recently read than those who kissed who at that party the other night. I really in truly like just sitting around the table talking with my friends about life and goals and stories we’ve lived.

So I asked my mom what age she thought I was on the inside, because, obviously, she knows me better than I know myself. At first, she said, “well your dad is definitely 19 on the inside.” Which makes sense, because he’d much rather be drinking a Natty Lite with his college pals at a lax game than discussing the stock market. But when she thought about me she said, “Oh honey, you haven’t reached your internal age yet. And you won’t reach it for a long long time.”

“Because it’s in my 80’s,” I half-jokingly said back.

“Correct,” she responded with a chuckle.

What's New?

Chloe Gordon

I read on one of my favorite Influencer's Instagram that she misses old school blogs. She misses the vulnerability and the storytelling and the realness that comes with blogs. She dislikes how repetitive and dull Instagram is becoming. She said that she just scrolls and scrolls and doesn’t gain anything from it. And you know what? I agree.

People’s captions are boring, their lives aren’t as perfect as they look, and it’s just the same thing over and over again. Yeah, I’m guilty as charged, too. My life looks pretty great and fun on Instagram. And while I still think I’m having a great and fun time, I don’t post about anything too negative. I’m not saying we should all have a blog and talk about everything terrible in our lives, but I do think that we could make our Instagram’s a little more interesting and real. I try, I really do. But I also have this blog where I get real.

So I guess I’ll update you on what’s up with me right now. I’m living in Alabama with my grandfather and his dog. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago so it’s been so nice to spend time with my grandpa and other family that lives here. I think I really truly needed this time to re-center after college. I just needed a break to breathe and just be. Plus, his dog is my new best friend so that’s great. Zach and I broke up. I’m not going to tell the story because half of it is his story to tell and I don’t want to take that away from him. I’m job searching diligently. Job searching has, in fact, become my full-time job. I’ve been interviewing but so far I’m not sure what’s going to happen. It could be this one thing, it could be this other thing, or it could be nothing at all. Stay tuned. Hopefully, that chapter will start soon, but I’m not trying to rush into anything at this point in my life.

Honestly, despite being unemployed, I’m happy. I didn’t realize how much I needed this break, but it’s been very very refreshing. I challenge you to think about what you’re posting everywhere. Whether it’s on your Instagram or your blog or whatever, just think about whether or not it’s meaningful or holds purpose. Does it bring you joy? Who cares if it brings other’s joy, but think, really think, if it brings you joy or not to see it on your feed or on your blog.

Thanks for reading!

Caroline Calloway Opinion

Chloe Gordon

Caroline Calloway is an Instagram-er. A long caption format Instagram-er. 

Is she an influencer? Well, she’s influenced me to try Birch Coffee next time I’m in New York. So I’d say so. 

Is she a fashion instagram-er? She’s inspired me to only purchase clothes so soft that you can nap in them. Not actually, but I do keep that mindset while shopping now, so maybe she is. 

Is she a hot topic? Yes. 

I started following Caroline back in January when I was recovering from a Kidney infection. I was in a bad place physically and mentally drained. She inspired me to be more independent. To do what I wanted with my life (and on Instagram) for myself instead of for others. She inspired me to care less about the likes and more about how my content made people feel. Revolutionary if you ask me. 

But then, later this year, she was the focus of every controversial article you could ever think of. She wanted to inspire others to write and get to know other writers and dreams and do-ers. So she came up with this idea to create a workshop. I’m not going to get into the details, but people talked and the press wrote about it. 

And then, later this summer, her old “ghost writer,” Natalie, published an article that “exposed” Caroline for who she really was. In my humble opinion, Caroline might have mistreated her ghost writer, but Natalie also put herself in situations that she could have easily talked to Caroline about instead of bottling them in. 

So, also in my humble opinion, I love Caroline Calloway. She’s an amazing writer. She’s brave, bold, and willing to share pieces of her life that others really really aren’t. She knows how to elegantly move through life as if it were a fairytale, and even when it’s not, she somehow picks herself back up and keeps moving with her head held high. 

So yeah, she’s probably made some mistakes, but haven’t you? If you’re bored at work or procrastinating, I inspire you to scroll to the very last picture on her account and start reading her captions from there. Her life is very fun to read about. 

Thanks for reading!